Thoughts of the Day

So its so hot and muggy I can feel the sweat dripping down my chest. The birds outside, chirping and as chipper as usual, don't suffer the same problems, but have their own. The house smells like rotting garbage, and I'm not going to be the one to remind people of their responsibilities this time. I'm not the responsible one, after all.

I think I can reduce the cool by sitting in front of my window unit and letting the cold air hit my face. I wouldn't mind a beer, or three, I wouldn't mind a tall glass of shut up and just go with what I'm told. I wouldn't mind changing some of my behavior, or increasing my lack of interest in things that really could help me in the long run. I want to clean my room but I figure, "what's the point?"

Some might wonder if this is what depression looks like, but I'm not depressed. There's too much in my head, too many thoughts that make me feel like there is no time for down emotions or self-pity. Because that's what depression is, right?

Maybe its because I had San Francisco in my arms for a week and now I've gone cold turkey. Maybe I just miss my friends.

I think, though, it probably is that I'm going to be done with school in five weeks, and I still am not worried about my future - only what I'm going to do about the decisions of my past. Maybe finding the solutions to those problems is exactly what will define my future. Maybe I shouldn't wonder anymore.

No comments: