Sex Offender Shuffle

This is pretty hilarious - I don't know if its real or not (I think not, because the 80s outfits look too costume-y to be real), but its great nonetheless. All you have to do is pretend just a little to let the LOLs roll out.

Sex Offender Shuffle - watch more funny videos

Read more!

Craigslist: A Series

Its been a while since I did one of these. And since I have an iPhone, I can totally relate. Except for the whole girlfriend part. Or boyfriend part. Or any of this entirely sans the technological bit. Damn.

---

Iphone VS Girlfriend
Date: 2009-09-29, 7:49AM EDT

As I type this, my boyfriend is on the couch, napping blissfully, his Iphone nestled to his chest. I remember the distant days when I was the one who nestled there, my head resting lovingly against his shoulder, but apparently because I don't vibrate like a buzz saw every ten minutes to let him know that he's gotten an email from Sears.com with great deals for Fall savings, he's traded up.

I remember when it was my shrill, piercing voice that delighted him, but no more. I've lost my favored status, displaced by a small, rectangular device that beeps incessantly at the most inopportune times - most of which are apparently no longer inopportune! God help me if I should turn to him while he's engrossed in an episode of Two and a Half Men and say, "I forgot to tell you about this lady I saw in the Food Lion today who was wearing hilarious pants!" I would be judiciously shushed! But Iphone gets to say whatever it's thinking any time it wants! Iphone can do no wrong! No matter what he's in the middle of, no moment is too important to be interrupted by a text message from his Iphone letting him know that 90% of American currency has tested positive for trace amounts of cocaine, according to CNN.com.

Should I be providing better content? Were I to turn to him while he's watching TV and say, "MEEEP Thursday's forecast calls for morning clouds with a chance of afternoon thundershowers," would he smile receptively, or nod with interest? I doubt it. I also don't see what's so useful about the real-time updates his Iphone provides on sports games and breaking news, when the information I provide is also in real-time and personalized! Does his precious Iphone nag him when he forgets to give the dog his heartworm medicine? Does it remind him that it's unattractive to drink soda straight from the bottle and then just put it back in the fridge? Does his Iphones angry rattle encourage him to start dinner right away because I'm going to be hungry when I get home?

All right, I know when I'm beat. It's time for me to take this to the next level, before he realizes that when his Iphone never has morning breath, steals the covers, or mocks his love of Entourage. So what do I have to do to win him back? Offer my services for a better monthly rate? Remind him of the convenience of his no-initial-fee, no-obligation contract with me? Ok, maybe there was an initial fee to join me, but I'm sure he'd say it was worth it. Or would he? After all, I can't think of any new features I've added in the last few years, aside from a new haircut, or any upgrades to speak of unless you count going up a pants size. Which I do. Possibly it's time to fight fire with fire - or water. My boyfriend's Iphone does seem to be getting a little smudged, due to his constant, loving caresses and attention. Perhaps it needs a bath. :] Read more!

Hierarchy of Digital Distractions

I found this completely appropriate after realizing that it takes me approximately 75% more time to do something productive when I have access to the Internet and my blog feeds than when I don't.



For the original, go here. Read more!

Gravy Train!!!! VS Girls VS The Younger Lovers

When I was a senior in high school, I was obsessed with a local San Francisco band called Gravy Train!!!!. Since growing up, their music still resonates with me, although the lyrics, "I go to the high school/I go to the high school/to find me a bitch/a young virgin switch" now borders on pedophilia. Since then, the members of Gravy Train!!!! have also since moved on, the two male leads continuing with their musical endeavors. Hunx is now part of the band called Girls, while Funx (or Brontez) has become the voice of The Younger Lovers.

Get ready for all the things that make you uncomfortable about gay people, and tell me which musical style you like best.

GRAVY TRAIN!!!


VS

GIRLS


VS

THE YOUNGER LOVERS


I love the music and words to "Lust for Life," but I'm partial to the video for "Danny" because the Latino guy is so cute! Read more!

Sexed-Up Disney Princes

Some perve (and my personal hero) has corrupted my childhood and redrawn the princes from various Disney films .... WITHOUT THEIR CLOTHES. Well, okay, they're all wearing their skivvies, but its still pretty funny. I'll post some of my favs here, but click the link below for the full experience.

PS: The only real reason this post is inappropriate is because I'm in a cafe sitting across from two children and their mother.

Prince Eric


Aladdin


Hercules


For the full experience, click here! Read more!

World Wars in Comic Form

If you have trouble, like I do, keeping history stored in your brain because its already too cluttered with nonsensical information like elimination orders of already obsolete 2009 Vh1 reality love shows, then this is for you! Some history buff has put together two comics which are readable in 5 minutes (or 10, if you're a slow reader like me) detailing what happens in the two world wars, respectively.

Definitely worth the time. Picture this: next time you're at that intellectual social gathering and everyone is talking about Franz Ferdinand, you can add more to the conversation besides, "Yeah, they're a great band."


Click here for the full experience! Read more!

Stripper Update

I'm still trying to put things back together, on this site and in my life. Everything feels so transient still because I don't have a room of my own, and I don't really have a job I particularly like. I'm not doing things that make me feel like I'm giving back or making the world a better place, which is what I really want to do. Shots only make people happy for a few hours. Those moments are lingering.

I'm starting to apply to desk jobs, or jobs where one gets compensated in a paycheck and not tips. Now that I'm out of school, I have no more excuses to make things happen. I guess the economy would be a good one, but I feel like I've been using it more as a crutch then anything else.

In any case, I'll keep you posted on how it goes, as well as on what I'm reading/looking at here on the Internetz. Read more!

VALERIA Fight

Okay, so, something tells me that I need to be watching this telenovela called "Valeria." Every week on The Soup, there is a new clip from this damn show that is funnier than the last. Here is one which includes an epic bitch fight like no other. Skip to 1:00 if you don't speak Español or if you just really want to get to the good stuff.

Read more!

Kurt Vonnegut's 8 Rules For Writing Short Fiction

These are good rules. The only one I disagree with is the last one, which I don't always agree is the best thing. Some short stories benefit from being mysterious, like one of my all time favorites, "The Most Dangerous Game," by Richard Connell. Anyway, check out the rules below, which come from his book Bagombo Snuff Box: Uncollected Short Fiction.

1. Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.

2. Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.

3. Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.

4. Every sentence must do one of two things—reveal character or advance the action.

5. Start as close to the end as possible.

6. Be a Sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them—in order that the reader may see what they are made of.

7. Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.

8. Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To hell with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages. Read more!

ALFONSO CASAS MORENO

Alfonso Casas Moreno is a Spanish artist who creates fabulous works of art of cute hipster boys from the Iberian peninsula. Some of them are self-portraits, but they're all really cool and unique. New obsession! You can find his flickr account here. There are plenty of gems, so please, check them out! More beneath the "Read More!" cut below.


















Read more!

I'm Back.

Get ready, bitches. Its going to be better than ever.

Read more!

Merger

Things are different, now. I feel different. I'm a different person, I look different. I imagine if I licked the inside of my arm or the palm of my hand or if I sucked on one of my fingers, I'd taste different.

Maybe I look different because I haven't cut my hair. And maybe I taste different because of this German diet I'm on. Who knows. But the other stuff - about my insides, and what color they must be now because I don't think Washington, DC will be the same when I get back ... well, I don't know how to explain that. All I know is that everything has changed within the past seven weeks. And they're only changing more.

I'm looking into things to apply for when I get back. I don't see any point in applying to things out here. I'm also writing a ton. I've also picked up my running schedule again, which is nice. Katja lent me some jogging pants to get me through the freezing rain and the cold, miserable streets of autumnal Berlin. I'm keeping myself busy, because I realize my time here is running out and I want something to show for it.

I'm sorry for neglecting to update you all on what is happening in my life. I guess for the past couple of weeks now, I haven't even been able to figure it out. But I realize that makes me sound like a victim much more than I'd like to consider myself, so I retract that. I take it all back.

I know I need a new path, I just want someone to show me. Read more!

What Your Facial Hair Says About You

I stumbled across this and thought it was pretty funny and accurate. I mean, if you want to be a total asshole and generalize, that is.

I've included the first analysis, but below there is a link to where I read the article. Pretty good find, I think!

---

The Full Beard



What You Think It Says About You: I have written, or am currently writing three to four novels and or screenplays. I think deeply about things, and sometimes I'll just sit and read, because I like reading. Yeah, that's something I do. Is your unkempt hipster vagina moist yet? Plus, despite what my emo-swoop haircut may suggest, I'm comfortable with my masculinity.

What It Really Says About You: a)I never got laid in high school, and used to get the shit kicked out of me, then suddenly realized that if I grew a beard, it hid my nerdy face, b)I've gotten so much poontang in my life that I'm literally TIRED of banging chicks. Now in an effort to see how ridiculous I can make myself and still get laid, I'm growing this. or c)Don't open a package I might send to you, and stay the F off my lawn.

Good For: Lumberjacks, the Unemployed/Homeless, Pyschos, Hipsters

Sentence Heard From This Person: "You should listen to this NPR podcast I downloaded."

Who Sports It:




To get the full article, click here. Read more!

Does Kanye Have Asperger's Syndrome?

Sorry for the insane hiatus, but I promise to try to make it up to you. And now - a little piece on Kanye, becuase you know that if I were at full-blown blogging capacity, I would have covered the Taylor Swift/Kanye/stage-crashing Lil Mama episodes here.

But onto a more serious note...



As seen here on Holy Taco. Read more!

In the details

I WISH I COULD KEEP UP
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I WISH I COULD KEEP UP Read more!

Awesome Bike Poster

Read it. Its pretty much amazing.

Read more!

Prince Derek, I Salute You

My friend Derek is the only person on this planet who can write an effective and hilarious "About Me" section. I totally love it. I get all of his jacked up references and all of his sentiments about living and love. If things were different, maybe he and I would have fallen in love. In any case, read this "About Me" section from his profile. Its pretty much amazing.

---

"I long for someone to make me nervous in the right way. Because I'm secretly at the point where I pretty much wanna get married, get fat, and watch TV. After a while going out takes it toll. When you wake up blurry and bloody and that's the norm, you have to wonder what else is out there... But I'm gonna keep doing it until I find something else. Looking for love in all the wrong places? Maybe.

Hit me up and lets haaaang if you feel it or wanna feel it. " Read more!

Paul and Fritz Kalkbrenner - Sky and Sand

A cool video Sascha showed me regarding a documentary called "Berlin Calling." It documents the music scene here. Pretty cool video, check it out.

Read more!

Gender Roles in Germany

This week, I helped Katja's grandparents build a fence around the perimeter of their backyard. Apparently, because of a never-ending feud between the people who own the properties, and the people who want to increase the touristic appeal of the location, properties need to be marked very clearly so there is no confusion.

Sascha and I drove up on Thursday morning and stayed until Friday afternoon, helping both days to measure out and install new posts and wire, while removing an old fence that marked an outdated boundary. However, what stood out to me the most about the whole implication of gender roles that I hadn't noticed in a very long time.

The first discernible gender element I noticed was an interior one - as I sawed our hammered or pulled and lifted, I realized how little manual labor I do in my every day life, whether it be at work or for my home, or my mother's home. Here I was, four thousand miles away, doing something I had never done before for people I'd known for less than a week. And its not that I didn't want to do it - it was more that I'd never thought I had the capacity to do things like that - to make things that are useful and helpful for people who can't do it by themselves.

Anyway, while the men worked away, Katja's grandmother worked inside. She was cleaning. She was sweeping. She was cooking. Not even a half hour into our work, she came out with a tray of sparkling apple juice and Coke. About two hours into our work, she announced that lunch was ready - a HOT lunch.

It was very impressive. I realized I hadn't been in a domestic gender role setting in a long time. All the families I spend time with are new families, or gay families, or families with single parents. But Katja's grandparents have been married for 54 years, and her grandfather still would blow her grandmother kisses, and they'd touch each other with affectionate usually reserved for newlyweds.

I don't know how much the love in their relationship depends upon their clearly designated gender roles. I guess there are lots of contributing factors, only one of them being gender roles, and another being potentially their mutual desire for adventure and activity. They go skiing every year. They bike. They go for "Nordic walks" along the beach every morning. However, I can't help but think that gender roles of some sort play into their love life some how. And maybe gender roles aren't such a bad thing.

I'm not saying that all women should cook and clean and all men should work outside. I'm not saying that at all. But maybe designating jobs for each partner that only he or she does could help the relationship maintain structure. If everyone can do everything, and does do everything, there is this lack of reliance and trust that can only be earned by someone always being designated a role.

I'm not sure. All I know is that I want to explore this topic, and maybe put it into effect in my next relationship. Maybe then it will last more than a year. Read more!

Hottie of the Week

In honor of my trip to Poland this week, how about a little Eastern European love for this week's hottie?

As always, more pics below the "Read More!" cut.














"Hottie" courtesy of East Village Boys. Read more!

Come and Get Your "Gay Education" On!

A pretty good video that discusses the stereotypes, myths and beliefs regarding gay people. Pretty cool.

Read more!

Sex and the City 2 Now Filming!

It looks like its going to be a good one, too! Click here for more pictures!

Read more!

Latinos on the Real World

Now, the Real World is supposed to be a character study of the psyche and relationships between seven (and more recently, eight) strangers chosen to live in a house together and be taped for several months. What is supposed to ensue is cultural and ideological conflict, and that's what the audience got for the first several seasons of the Real World. Towards the show's middle of its 23 season run, it began to lose that initial objective, and simply became a venue for binge drinking, incessant partying, and all other general douche-baggery. The characters ceased to be diverse and interesting, and the the show began to lose steam and a revolutionary and influential program.

However, lately, the show has made changes to who they cast, in an attempt to bring the show back to its ground-breaking and culturally diverse origins. Casting directors have also been instructed to seek out those that appear to be goal-oriented, which would bring more depth to their characters in a way that hadn't been seen in years.

Being Latino myself, I decided to look back at that past 8 seasons, seasons I remember watching and having some opinion or another on the character. How have Latinos on the Real World been portrayed or perceived from my perspective, and was it a good choice on MTV's part?

Willie
Real World: Philly



Willie was one of the two gay cast members on his season, and provided a shoulder to lean on to anyone who needed it. He was endearing in his quest for love, and because we all recognized him as the kid from "Ghostwriter." Although he was regarded as a "nice guy," I don't actually remember anything he did that was interesting or important. Its characters like this that make me think that I'd be way better on the Real World. There is a good way to be nice AND interesting, and Willie, unfortunately, could not find it.

Johanna
Real World: Austin



Her incessant reappearances on challenge shows aside, I actually kind of liked Johanna on her season of the Real World. She was this cute Peruvian from California who was studying at Columbia, and she got arrested mid-season for being intoxicated in public (or something alcohol-induced like that). In fact, its hard to reprimand her for her actions when everyone on this season of the Real World got arrested or beat up or black-out drunk at some point. I think she showed the fiery and fiercer side of Latinas that you stereotypically hear about in a new way. Because she was one of the most chased-after characters of any Real World season, Johanna demonstrated her ability to choose and have power, and she was cool because of that.

Jose
Real World: Key West



Although he was goal-oriented and an all-around good guy, Jose failed to be of interest to anyone in his cast, let alone anyone watching the show. His ability to pick himself up and become a realtor at such a young age despite hardship makes him different from the stereotypes of Latino men, which was a redeeming quality. However, being invisible for most of the show's duration, his impact was a lot less than it could have been. We need to see more of Jose popping up on challenge shows in order to actually understand what a key figure he could be for Latino men everywhere.

Jenn
Real World: Denver



With Jenn's propensity to fuck up her eyebrows and mostly destroy brain cells on the Real World: Denver, I firmly believe that if she continued on the path she was taking, she would eventually destroy the world. Jenn represented everything that producers of the Real World have been trying to change with their most recent seasons - namely, the alcohol-chugging, panty-dropping joviality of thirteen year olds given a cocktail for the first time. Although I did like her on her season, she didn't do much for representing Latinos on TV, and instead blended herself in with the likes of Brooke and Colie, who were both sorority girls with nothing on their hands but drugs to take and alcohol to drink. I guess homogeny is a good thing?

Shauvon
Real World: Sydney



Shauvon was likable for the most part. She had a brief romantic stint with roommate Isaac, before turning into an angry drunk, throwing a drink at his head, and then proceeding to retreat home back to her ex-boyfriend, who only broke up with her because she was going to go on the Real World. Huh? That doesn't sound like a strong Latina to me! A strong Latina would have stuck up for her decision, told her boyfriend to suck it, and maybe would have taken to tap or ballet or something. Screw you, Shauvon!

JD
Real World: Brooklyn



Oh, JD - crouching asshole, hidden douchebag. Behind those adorably good looks, you have someone who is not only undeniably judgmental (at least, to the cameras), but also the first to say that he wants to "take care of people." How self-righteous can you get? On the Real World, when someone shows over-confidence and self-righteousness, it can only mean that they are terribly insecure, and JD proved to be the exception to the rule. I don't think there is a dose of insecurity in JD's body - which, when mixed with his self-righteousness, can only make him completely unlikable.

Ayiiia
Real World: Cancun



Where did they find this fucked up gem of a television personality? Ayiiia started off as cute and cuddly, turning into a flesh-eating demon from California with the first drop of alcohol and slightest hint of aggression aimed at her. What was admirable about her was that she always went for the kill when it came to fighting - she'd pick the proverbial balls of your insecurity, and kick them as hard as she could. Towards the end, there were some redeeming qualities that surfaced, but where Johanna left off on the "feisty Latina" stereotype Ayiiia finished it off - and then kicked that in the balls, too. I guess that means I liked her?

Derek
Real World: Cancun



Derek, Ayiiia's roommate in Cancun, was certainly my favorite Latino character from the Real World series. An over-achieving teacher's pet and grandma's boy, he not only warmed my heart but froze it over when I found out he was a gay Mexican server from Arizona (there go my chances of being on the Real World, Derek. Thanks). On his season, he was opinionated and strong, yet always attempted to bring everyone together, and never failed to be there for those who needed it the most, even when his feelings towards them were somewhat unclear. He never failed to name-drop his Mexican heritage in nearly every episode, and he made his goals of becoming a physician's assistant quite clear. I just hope we see him on some challenge shows so that we don't forget about him! Read more!

The Younger Lovers - Danny

I knew this douche back in San Francisco, and now he's making douchy music videos on cyberspace. Only watch if you want to puke. Oh, but the main love interest is very cute, though. Maybe the only redeeming thing about the video?

Read more!

Gay Hipster

Its been a long while since I've done one of these!

Read more!

The Official Update

I'm tired of looking for new things.

I'm tired of being tired of where I am.

I sought something new, and now I don't know if its exactly the best thing for me.

I miss night-times when I could sleep. Won't this insomnia go away? Read more!

Joni Mitchell - California

I've been listening to this song non-stop and it goes along with the depressing music slump that I've been in lately. This one holds a special place in my heart, too, because its about my home state, and wanting to go back despite seeing the world. I have a feeling this song will be more significant to me after I come back from Europe. Enjoy. Her voice is so ... I don't know, does "pure" sound too hippy?

Read more!

Hottie of the Week

Gah, I'll let this one speak for himself.












Originally posted at East Village Boys. Read more!

"I Barely Survived" DC Beer Week 2009

This week is DC Beer Week, and yesterday night the Commonwealth had its event - a promotion for Victory brewery in Pennsylvania, with eight discounted Victory beers and food pairings with each of them.

I guess we didn't anticipate such a turnout, because we were extremely poorly staffed. We needed an extra bartender, and maybe even an extra server. Usually, on a busy night at Commonwealth, the bar is maybe three people deep. Last night, it was about seven or eight people deep. It was impossible to get to the bar service station.

However, there was no need to. The bar completely lost control of all of the tickets that the servers were sending in. At one point, the bar was backed up maybe twenty or thirty tickets. Tickets were getting lost.

Th wait was about one to two hours to get a table. People were getting pissed because their drinks were coming out after their food. Our sections were way too big. Scott summed it up beautifully by saying that it was "a complete feeling of hopelessness." I nearly walked out.

On the other hand, I made decent money - money I wasn't expecting as I wasn't even supposed to work last night I also got a phone number from a cute guy at one of my tables. Where was he a year ago? I'm leaving in less than two weeks. Hah.

I've also been listening to a lot of Morrissey again lately. What's up with that?

"The woman of my dreams, she never came along
The woman of my dreams, well, there never was one" Read more!

Wolfmother - Vagabond

[Spoken] "This is a song about innocence lost"

Oh girl, I don't know all the reasons why
I found the answer looking in your eye
I go out walking all day long
Take away this lonely man, soon he will be gone

Cause I'll tell you everything about living free
Yes, I can see you girl
Can you see me?

You don't need to know what I do all day
It's as much as I know
Watch it waste away

Cause I'll tell you everything about livin' free
Yes, I can see you girl
Can you see me?

Go and see the sorcerer, look into the ball
You may find the answer written on the wall
Look at what's inside her
Can you see the answer?

Put her on a mansion on top of the hill
Please don't make her do the things against her will
I found something special
I don't know why
Looking into her pretty little eye

Cause I'll tell you everything about being free Read more!

Thanks BV

At least someone has faith in me.

Read more!

Worst Week Ever?

I know I've used that one before, but I'm pretty sure this week has been catastrophically worst than others I've had. Everything that could have gone wrong, did. And although I'm still kicking and am capable of moving on, it still sucks. Everything about this week sucked.

On Saturday, almost a week ago, I bumped into the oven door at work at burned my right arm. Now, a foot long burn is starting to bubble up, ooze and blister, exposing my flesh to whatever elements want to get jiggy with it. I think I've taken care of it, and people say that it's "looking good," whatever that means.

On Sunday, I come home to find my bike missing. I backtracked in my mind to see if maybe I had taken it to work and forgotten it (I've done that before, with this bike and those of my past). I even asked Jijad to see if he had borrowed it, as he had started to just recently for quick jaunts to meet up with Andy or Karim. Nope. Dan helped me look in the bushes and he found the cut lock tossed carelessly into some tall grass. Bike fail.

It sucks the most because it was the bike Nati got me for Christmas. It had sentimental value, and it was a great bike. The way it was stolen makes it seem as though I was being careless with it, and that I didn't care. It really sucked though, and I'm still very upset about it.

On Monday, I went over to my mom's for breakfast only to find her distraught over a cat that had been run over outside on the street in front of her home. Because she was so upset, I offered to go clean it up, hoping she would decline and say that she didn't need me to do that. She did try to make it seem like it wasn't a big deal, but her feelings about it were pretty obvious, so I got a couple of shovels and took care of it.

It was one of the hardest things I've done in a long time. I cried in the middle of the road. People stared at me, but were compassionate when I looked up at them. They would look away, give me one of those smiles people give when something bad is happening - the one where they press their lips together tightly into a line and try to curl the ends upwards very slightly.

I'm also moving out of the house that I've lived in for nearly two years. I can't believe its even been that long. I need to go over to my mom's to pick up her car so that I can load up the two furniture pieces that I'm taking. Very bittersweet.

I'll update you in a bit. Read more!

Gay Hipster

Hmm, I'm having a hard time with this one.

Read more!

Music Video Featuring Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel

The video is for Zooey Deschanel's musical outfit She and Him's latest single. The song is called, "Why Do You Let Me Stay Here," and features some brilliant dancing by both stars.

You'll be stunned to see JGL do two backflips in succession, and Deschanel's moves are guaranteed to put a smile on your face.

Enjoy!

Read more!

Death Cab for Cutie - 405

I took the 405 and drilled a stake down into your center,
And stated that it's never ever been better than this.

I hung my favorite shirt on the floorbaord,
wrinkled up from pulling pushing and tasting, tasting.

You keep twisting the truth
that keeps me thrown askew.

Misguided by the 405 'cause it lead me to an alcoholic summer.
I missed the exit to your parents' house hours ago.

Red wine and the cigarettes...
hide your bad habits underneath the patio, patio, patio, patio.

You keep twisting the truth
that keeps me thrown askew. Read more!

Story Of My Life 2

Read more!

"Donald Speaks" at Vh1.com!

Donald, who was eliminated this week on the premiere episode of "Megan Wants a Millionaire" (blegh), wrote a series of questions and answers that he thought fans might want to know about him. Usually, Rich Juzwiak conducts all of the interviews himself, but Donald proceeded to take the liberty himself.

What ensued was entirely hilarious and amazing, which is A) why Rich decided to post it anyway, and B) why I decided to cross-post it verbatim. Enjoy!

---

Before we could even coordinate some interview time with him, the pop-song quoting Megan mega-fan bounced from the first episode of Megan Wants a Millionaire, Donald, reached out to us. He emailed us a series of questions and answers regarding himself he thought readers would like to know more about. Just when you thought Donald couldn’t get more awesome, he goes and interviews himself. Great! The results are below…

Why do you think Megan eliminated you?

I’m sure Megan just took some very sensible advice from Beyoncé and said to herself, “I don’t think I’m ready for this jelly.”

Are you still in love with Megan?

Of course. And that giant pinup of Brandi C taped directly over my bed means absolutely nothing!

What’s the deal with those spots all over your face?

Actually, when you connect all the dots on my face, you get a really charming picture of John and Kate Plus Seven. There wasn’t room on my face for all eight, but I’m trying!

What kind of fan mail have you been getting?

A dog groomer in Fargo has offered to adopt me. Apparently, she hears I’m house-broken.

Are you really a Lady Gaga fan?

Absolutely. And If I’d stayed around for a second episode, I was going to spring this on Megan…

“My name is Don,
I’m kind of sick!
Please don’t point and laugh,
At my disco stick!”

Wonderful, right? Donald adds, “I had a ready reserve of pop culture references for the second episode, but now they’re all sitting neglected in my garage!” Hopefully he’ll get to dust them off on air soon.

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To go to the source of the "interview," click here! Read more!

An Open Letter To Straight People Who Get Married

Dear Straight People Who Get Married:

I get the fact that you're "in love" (whatever that is supposed to mean). I get the fact that you want to spend the rest of your lives together (good luck). I get the fact that you have found each other and want the whole world to know it, and I get the fact that you want to reap in the benefits that are afforded to people who get married. I get it.

I've shaken your hands, patted your backs, told you "congratulations" more times than I'm actually proud to admit. I've purchased gifts, served you cocktails, raised a champagne fluke to you and proposed toasts in your honor. And each time I did, I did because I cared for you, and because I was happy that you were happy. Each time I did, it was sincere and done out of love rather than spite or anger or shame for my country.

In a world where globalization is more certain than ever and where networking sites like Facebook are becoming essential elements of socialization, its easy to forget the pains of minorities and the struggling class. Documenting and photographing everything has become so ordinary that many fail to see the parallels between their small celebrations and other's ongoing deprivation.

So, in an open letter to straight people who get married: knowing you are getting married is enough for me to be happy for you. When you start plastering your photographs all over Myspace and start changing your names and relationship status on Facebook, it starts to really grind my nerves.

And its not because I'm jealous, because that should be a given. Its because I'm peeved that you have the audacity to shove the rights that are handed to you like a heterosexual family heirloom down the throats of people you call your friends, your family, when they don't have those same rights. When they have to fight for those same rights. When they have to fight for those same rights, and most of the time lose.

I know a couple who refuse to get married until everyone in the country has the right to marry whomever they choose. I think that is admirable, but I don't think that everyone should be like them. I understand why people get married, and, like I said before, I sincerely wish those who get married nothing but the best. I just don't understand how people who get married can be so insensitive to the timely subject of second-class citizenship amongst their kith and kin.

If I ever am allowed to get married, I'd want you to come to my wedding, so I do hope this does not offend you. Hell, I'm not even sure if I want to get married, should the opportunity with the right man present itself. But I'd like to be able to have a choice is what it all boils down to. I want to be able to marry a Vegas stripper at four in the morning in a drunken roofied stupor just like a heterosexual can. Until the day comes when I can, I'll continue to judge you and your wedding photos, and count down the days until your divorce.

Just kidding. Read more!

Yes, I'm Gay, But...

An interesting video that helps gives people with little to no interaction with gay folks a little perspective. These people come from all walks of life, and some are remarkably young to be part of such an intense and timely video.

Yes, We're Gay, but ... we're also a lot of other things, too.



Woof Miguel! Read more!

Hottie of the Week!

Grr, this guy definitely does it for me! Here you go!















Read more!