"Donald Speaks" at Vh1.com!



Donald, who was eliminated this week on the premiere episode of "Megan Wants a Millionaire" (blegh), wrote a series of questions and answers that he thought fans might want to know about him. Usually, Rich Juzwiak conducts all of the interviews himself, but Donald proceeded to take the liberty himself.

What ensued was entirely hilarious and amazing, which is A) why Rich decided to post it anyway, and B) why I decided to cross-post it verbatim. Enjoy!

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Before we could even coordinate some interview time with him, the pop-song quoting Megan mega-fan bounced from the first episode of Megan Wants a Millionaire, Donald, reached out to us. He emailed us a series of questions and answers regarding himself he thought readers would like to know more about. Just when you thought Donald couldn’t get more awesome, he goes and interviews himself. Great! The results are below…


Why do you think Megan eliminated you?

I’m sure Megan just took some very sensible advice from BeyoncĂ© and said to herself, “I don’t think I’m ready for this jelly.”

Are you still in love with Megan?

Of course. And that giant pinup of Brandi C taped directly over my bed means absolutely nothing!

What’s the deal with those spots all over your face?

Actually, when you connect all the dots on my face, you get a really charming picture of John and Kate Plus Seven. There wasn’t room on my face for all eight, but I’m trying!

What kind of fan mail have you been getting?

A dog groomer in Fargo has offered to adopt me. Apparently, she hears I’m house-broken.

Are you really a Lady Gaga fan?

Absolutely. And If I’d stayed around for a second episode, I was going to spring this on Megan…

“My name is Don,
I’m kind of sick!
Please don’t point and laugh,
At my disco stick!”

Wonderful, right? Donald adds, “I had a ready reserve of pop culture references for the second episode, but now they’re all sitting neglected in my garage!” Hopefully he’ll get to dust them off on air soon.

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To go to the source of the "interview," click here!

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