Gay Hipster

This may be my dream man. Sans the middle finger, of course.


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The Gay Scene

Gay guys who say that they're not into the "gay scene" or that they prefer "straight-acting" guys really bother me. It has for a while now, and I always thought it was because I was offended - like I wouldn't qualify, or like they were slamming me. Luckily for my contemporaries and I, we live in a day and age where we can go to gay bars and not be harassed or mocked or even KILLED because we looked at someone the wrong way. It took a lot of hard work and sacrifice from the generations before us, but we're there now.

Also, partial thanks should go to the women's movement, where it was demonstrated to people across the country that we are not simply our gender, and our gender should not limit us to what we can and cannot do. We live in an age where it is recognized that everyone has masculine AND feminine qualities, and that one on the wrong end of the spectrum does not invalidate all of the rest.

What I found really disturbs me about a gay man's resistance to the "gay scene" is how self-loathing it sounds. In a world where people get beat up and shot for being black, for being slow, for being GAY, its ridiculous to me to imagine how low their sense of self-worth is. I mean, we have gay pride marches and rainbow flags and all that good stuff, but when its all stripped away and we're asked to evaluate what it all means, it almost seems like Trig Palin at a McCain rally - they have no idea what they are doing there.

And they band together, too. These guys only seek out other "straight-acting" guys and glorify them, and reward their childish, ignorant behavior. Its a cycle that keeps them happy in their naiveté. And it'll continue to fester and to perpetuate as long as we, as a gay community, enable the world to pigeonhole us by doing it to ourselves in the first place.

Back in the day, the stereotype of the gay man had always been an effeminate, flamboyant interior designer who was too frilly to even have an asshole. We've come a long way from that, but to the other extreme - we want the world to recognize us as no different from any other man, which has hurt us in a completely new way. Only when we marry the dandy we once were with the stone clone we wish to be perceived as will we be the gay men we wish to become.

PS: I don't even know what the "gay scene" means. Anyone who is willing to funnel our multi-faceted gay culture into one lump is a straight up douchebag to me. Read more!

Scissor Sisters - Invisible Light

Back in 2005, the Scissor Sisters were my shit. I was obsessed with them. They rocked my world. I am pleased to hear that their third album is coming out in June, with one of the songs, "Invisible Light," being leaked this month. Check it out, tell me what you think ... think they're BACK back, or just back?

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Men at Their Most Masculine

There was this really great photography piece I saw recently which struck a chord with me - photographer Chad States from Philadelphia put up ads on Craigslist asking, "Are you masculine?," then proceeded to meet up with those who responded and photograph them. However, he wasn't simply asking men if they were masculine - he held the door open for all who felt like there was something masculine about them.

Now, the photo series seems to have very few women, but its an interesting question - what makes a man masculine? I'm not sure I would have an easy answer for that one.

Here are some of the entries:


“I have been called a SNAG (sensitive new age guy), a renaissance man, a man in touch with his feminine side, etc. I think that I am masculine in the sense of self-reliance.”


“I want to show that, despite stereotypes, gay men can be masculine too.”


“In my mind I am masculine. I feel I don’t have to prove it to anyone who might think otherwise (I don’t care what others think).”


“I feel most masculine when I am lying in bed naked.”


“When I wear men’s clothes I feel comfortable and confident in how I look on the outside which now matches the inside.”


“I feel masculine when I am home, I can take care of myself. I often feel emasculated when I leave my apartment though, with everyone asking me if I need help. I don’t need any help.”


“I am strong emotionally, have always stood up for myself, and fear nothing. I happen to be physically strong but that isn’t where I derive my masculinity.”


“To be masculine is to dominate in one’s field of study.”

For the complete interview and series, click here. Read more!

Moving on

I'm not really upset that my sister is moving back to San Francisco tomorrow, but I am feeling really melancholy about the whole thing. Its the end of an era, as she said - we knew this day was coming. Maybe I feel a little bit jealous, but I know I'll get back there someday, too. I mostly think its just hard for me to imagine DC without her anymore. She's been such a big part of my life out here.

I try to imagine life back in San Francisco before DC, and I can't remember how close we were before moving out here. I think we were close - we always have been. But I think being marooned here on the east coast together has pushed us closer than we could have imagined. She's a great sense of stability and consistency in my life that I haven't always had, and who has certainly made living out here, 3000 miles away from my home, okay.

With friendships, its the same. I feel like I have good friends but my best friends live in San Francisco and my closest friends right now live in DC. I don't know how that will all change when I leave, if it will at all. I don't know if I will be missed out here, as much as I miss my friends back home.

I guess what I'm really worried about is always feeling like half of my life is somewhere else than where I presently am. I'm glad that my sister moving has opened my eyes to this situation, and to the people who I consider friends. I think that what is really bothering me is that I'm starting to see holes in some of my friendships, and I'm starting to see a consistency in the people who have been there for a while.

I want to be where I am, not wish I were elsewhere. And tonight, I realize where that is. Read more!