The Gay Scene

Gay guys who say that they're not into the "gay scene" or that they prefer "straight-acting" guys really bother me. It has for a while now, and I always thought it was because I was offended - like I wouldn't qualify, or like they were slamming me. Luckily for my contemporaries and I, we live in a day and age where we can go to gay bars and not be harassed or mocked or even KILLED because we looked at someone the wrong way. It took a lot of hard work and sacrifice from the generations before us, but we're there now.

Also, partial thanks should go to the women's movement, where it was demonstrated to people across the country that we are not simply our gender, and our gender should not limit us to what we can and cannot do. We live in an age where it is recognized that everyone has masculine AND feminine qualities, and that one on the wrong end of the spectrum does not invalidate all of the rest.

What I found really disturbs me about a gay man's resistance to the "gay scene" is how self-loathing it sounds. In a world where people get beat up and shot for being black, for being slow, for being GAY, its ridiculous to me to imagine how low their sense of self-worth is. I mean, we have gay pride marches and rainbow flags and all that good stuff, but when its all stripped away and we're asked to evaluate what it all means, it almost seems like Trig Palin at a McCain rally - they have no idea what they are doing there.

And they band together, too. These guys only seek out other "straight-acting" guys and glorify them, and reward their childish, ignorant behavior. Its a cycle that keeps them happy in their naiveté. And it'll continue to fester and to perpetuate as long as we, as a gay community, enable the world to pigeonhole us by doing it to ourselves in the first place.

Back in the day, the stereotype of the gay man had always been an effeminate, flamboyant interior designer who was too frilly to even have an asshole. We've come a long way from that, but to the other extreme - we want the world to recognize us as no different from any other man, which has hurt us in a completely new way. Only when we marry the dandy we once were with the stone clone we wish to be perceived as will we be the gay men we wish to become.

PS: I don't even know what the "gay scene" means. Anyone who is willing to funnel our multi-faceted gay culture into one lump is a straight up douchebag to me.