The end is nigh

2008 is coming to a close. Very rapidly. And I'm nervous. I'm tired. I want it to come but I know, just like every other year, it won't really mean anything when it does.

Often, I have to pause and really think about what year it is when I'm writing down the date. For so long, its felt as though its been 2009. I would make typos on homework, on my check out reports at work. Once, I wrote 1994. Where the hell that came from, I don't know.

I remember my first college applications in high school, looking at "2004-2005 school year" and thinking it looked so funny because I had only lived my life for 2004. But life goes on. It always does.

I need a symbolic ending because time is so fluid and continuous. Sometimes, it feels as though the weeks are photocopies of one another, work, school, homework, Wonderland. And I'm not complaining. There is nothing wrong with a schedule, a system. But in order to get through, in order to make it to the end of the week, to the end of the month, we want something to look forward to. Not just want - need.

I need New Years with my friends. I need San Francisco.

I need 2009, and I need what it will symbolize for me now.