Hey, sorry about not updating for a while. Things have been kind of a sham lately - meaning I have tons to do but fail to really do well at any of it. I worked a double both weekend days this week and was freaking out because I had a midterm yesterday and one later today and really hadn't (haven't) studied for either. Is it so bad that I really don't feel that concerned? Finishing school is my number one objective yet I have an apathy towards it that keeps me from every really meeting my full potential - from putting in all that effort.
I mean, I had all yesterday to pretty much work on stuff but I sat down and got caught up on reality TV. I met my reading goal, yeah, but I still barely studied for my midterm today (which I'm not too worried about) and did not read for any of my other classes. Its getting bad. And today, I dropped off my high school resume at the Arts and Humanities office so they could assess whether I took Spanish 4 or not and now they need a letter from my high school telling them that what I took was level 4 Spanish. Its all a big sham.
I'm on brink of graduating but I can't seem to get my act together. Don't even ask me about my progress in getting a loan to finish off my semester here. Its all very dire. I don't even want to think about it.
I have no time for laundry, for picking up pieces of paper off the floor in my room - for fixing my bed, for seeing my friends. I went out twice last weekend which pretty much destroyed me and now I feel guilty for it. I went to Town on Friday with Kevin and Colin and we got really wasted and Colin ended up pushing a 6'4 giant in my direction who proceeded to grind up all on me. It was exciting, yes, but also somewhat tasteless. I feel nothing.
I feel nothing, want nothing, know nothing, aspire to nothingness. I'll spread out so far, each atom of mine will be as close to one another as exploding shaking stars.
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