Gender Identity

I just wrote this for my ENGL265/LGBT265 class. Its a blog posting - there was no editing, so I apologize in advance.

In our society, gender roles are extremely prevalent and necessary - a dichotomy that has roots dating back to the time of the hunter/gatherer. Although certain cultures have made space for intersex, transgendered, and transsexual people, our contemporary American society is still heavily dependent on a two-gender system. We deal with it every day - when we use public bathrooms, when we apply for scholarships or grants .... when we have children.

I don't think that a two-gender system is as necessary to our society as it might have been, but it is so ingrained in our methods of thinking that it may be impossible to shake. I think that we depend too heavily on stereotypes of each gender, and get it confused with what it actually means to be a man or a woman. If a man cries, he is seen as effeminate, and if a woman is self-reliant, she is seen as unfeminine. Because of this, what's AT STAKE is our ability to achieve our full potentials as people - maybe because of fear or self-doubt. If the world tells us that we cannot embrace qualities that are not attributed by our genders, then we may limit the possibilities of what may otherwise be.

Gender is a biological construct - all mammals have gender, and it is necessary for reproductive reasons. However, being the only animals to be able to reason and understand complex ideas, I think it is only a natural progression of the human species to realize that reproductive reasons do not have to be the period on the proverbial page, especially when it comes to gender. Not everyone wants to have kids. Not everyone CAN have kids. Not everyone wants to have sex (although I have not, nor would I want to meet these people ;)). And not everyone has clear-cut, easily defined genitals. The list goes on and on. Animals who cannot reason who fall into any one of the categories listed above simply do not reproduce, but they get to live their lives, and that is more than has been offered to our brothers and sisters and friends and family who have had to deal with these issues get. And WE'RE the animals who can reason, huh?

Like I said above, I don't think that we can do away with the gender system. When I think about (maybe) having a child, I would want to raise it according to its genitals, and not confuse it by trying to be as neutral as possible. However, if my boy is partial to dolls, or if my girl wants a Tonka for Christmas, I will be supportive and loving and as encouraging as any proud, unashamed father can be. I think in our own minds we have to empty out the stereotypes we hold of intersex, transgendered and transexual people, and welcome them into our world by eliminating male/female boxes on applications (or adding more boxes to that system), and making bathrooms gender neutral. I can't, as a man, be afraid to show or speak my emotion, and I don't think women should be called "whores" just because they don't want kids.

Finally, I think that we can do away with our patriarchal society, if we only realize that there is no such thing as a superior or an inferior human being. At one of my mother's conferences I overheard an African-American woman talking about how gay people should never be allowed to marry, and that gay people are not equal to straight people. "If you give them marriage, what will they want next?" I couldn't help but showing my shock and disgust - here is a person who is oppressed on two fronts (what my mom would call a "double whammie") who does not get it. And it won't be until we look at our history, personal and cultural, and realize that at the bottom of it, and at the end of the day, we all want the same things.

No comments: