Blogging to Make Myself a Better Person

I was talking to my co-worker Sean a while back about blogging, and he thinks its narcissistic, which I totally agree with. You are writing about yourself. The things you like. Everything is one-sided, opinion based, and probably not very well-written. No one sees it except yourself, and maybe a handful of good friends who are interested in the same things and probably think similarly, which is why you're probably friends in the first place. Everything is about you and your world. Nothing else sneaks in.

Me, I love reality TV, things that are campy and bizarre, politics (at least, the issues that concern me), and gay things. My blog is focused on just that. I love going onto other people's blogs and admiring pictures or clever ideas. I love seeing what other people have to say and what they think about or dream. And when I read the newspaper, I usually read the Op-Ed section - not because I can't handle hard news, but because I think that what people THINK is just as important as what actually IS. Maybe even more important.

I like blogging because I feel like I get to be myself and like what I want to like without the judgmental looks someone might give you if you say them aloud. And if someone doesn't like it, they don't have to come back. I also like the creativity it affords - I, by nature, am a creative person. I like to create things that weren't before. I like to turn pictures in my head into pictures on paper. Its a freedom that isn't given to people who wait tables to pay their rent. Its the wings that humans have always been jealous of avians for having.

I have been in a slump, its true. I finally admitted that I'm ready for a relationship, I'm ready for an office job, I'm ready for the future. But I feel like I've been left behind, and its really affected my ability to be creative.

Blogging is the easy way to get back onto the horse. I'm ready to start making things. I'm ready to start using my brain again. I'm ready to become the person I know I can be. It just takes a little practice. And, apparently, a little narcissism. Because, after all, you have to like yourself to believe in yourself, and you need to believe in yourself to succeed.