Changes

Its really hard right now.

1. Fired from the Heights.
2. Nati moved to Las Vegas last week.
3. We are getting a new roommate in a few days.
4. Got into a fight with mom, and she's traveling for two weeks.
5. I broke up with Rob.

There are probably a million other things that have changed, too, but I can't seem to figure them all out right now. I just want this part of the year to be over. I am pretty much dead broke and can't party or travel or have the fun that I imagined I might be able to have this summer. Every day its too hot to move or its raining. And when it is nice, all I want to do is stay inside and masturbate. Its really bad. I'm seriously depressed.

I saw the Wackness yesterday. Probably the best movie I've seen in a long time. It was what made me know that I had to break up with Rob. Jeez, I haven't told anyone that. Oh, yeah -

6. Stephan is on my shit list for telling Cannon all these things that I told him in confidentiality, and he in turn told Rob. Things like I was considering breaking up with him a week ago and that we've never had (penetrative) sex.

I guess Melissa is right, though. None of that has to do with Stephan in particular - my mom is gone, my sister is gone, I have no real friends out here besides Kevin, Angie, Amy and Stephan, and he broke that confidentiality that I should be able to have with friends. It just shows me that I can't trust Stephan as well as I thought I could.

I keep listening to really bad, depressing music. The song currently on my Myspace profile (that I keep hitting repeat on because I don't own it) is Kevin Devine, "Thanks."